They were singin' bye bye academic science

Aug 29 2014 Published by under Academia, grant writing

I tend to have songs in my head that are related to what I'm doing. When I'm biking in the rain with lots of wind and I realize there is no take-out food near my house I sing David Bowie's :"This is not America".

Today's song is to the tune of "Bye bye Miss American pie" and goes like this*:

 

Long, long time ago,

I can still remember, how science used to make me smile.

And I knew that I was really meant

to get those papers and that grant

And then I would be happy for a while

 

But funding rates made me shiver

And with every paper I'd deliver

Rejections on my doorstep

I couldn't take on more step.

 

I can remember tears were shed

when the reviewer said it was bad.

All this combined defiance

is what made me leave science.

 

So bye bye Academic science

I wrote ten different grants, but the funding ran dry.

And grey old boys with their high h-index

singing: "this is not a matter of sex**"

 

* Yes, sometimes the emphasis is a little off. I'm a scientist, not a song writer.

** They mean gender, but that doesn't rhyme.

 

Also, there's many more verses, but I need to patch my last cells and analyze data, so feel free to add in the comments! I'll be singing this all day today 😉

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